Speech and Accent Academy Blog

Due to the Movie, Having a Speech Coach is 'Chic'!

2011-02-10T00:54:00.005-05:00

Wednesday, February 9, 2011'King's Speech' brings clamor for voice coaches

Business Of Life Crain's Chicago Business

'King's Speech' brings clamor for voice coaches: Business Of Life Crain's Chicago Business

"Voice coaches are feeling the buzz of “The King's Speech,” the film about King George VI of England, which has snared 12 Oscar nominations. Business at Chicago-based Total Voice Inc. was up 25% this January over last, following the late-December opening of the film about the king and his coach, Lionel Logue. “The film is capturing something in the ether,” says owner Kate DeVore, 41. “It's making people aware that vocal coaching is even a service.”

A Word from Lisa:
One day in February 2010, I realized I was suddenly overbooked with my accent, voice and speech coaching, and had to go to a waiting list!

In the middle of the night, I bolted up in bed from my sleep, and yelled, "It's The King's Speech! That's it! It was nominated for all those academy awards! THAT'S IT!" The dog barked, the birds stirred and said, "go to bed," and even the cat raised it's head in curiosity. Of course, it immediately went back to sleep. I didn't. "Wow," I replied, scratching my head in wonder, "Wow." "Say it right!" quipped my African Grey, Valentina Dinero (she loves vowel sounds and plosives.)
Because of this movie and all it's nominations for academy awards, it is now not only stylish to work with a speech coach, but it's 'officially chic'! I have not had a chance to see the movie yet, but a couple of my clients called me from New York and said, "Lisa you HAVE to see this movie, it reminds us of our sessions with you... doing all those strange and fun things you made us do, like talking with corks in our mouth!"

So I researched on the internet, and sure enough, I found my midnight hunch was correct. So I thank the writers and producers of the movie for showing the public that working with a speech coach is FUN, EXCITING and it works!

Singing the Air Force Song

2010-04-26T01:24:00.000-04:00

US Air Force Public Affairs Alumni Association Orlando, April 2010

Communicating in a Pickle

2010-03-23T18:58:00.000-04:00

Fight Fair Rules:
Things to Avoid When You Disagree
By Lisa Jeffery, MBA, MA
Professor of Communication

It’s not what kind of fights you have, it’s how you fight that matters. Did you know there are skills you can learn that help you handle disagreements in life?

When I watched the movie the “The Break Up” with Jennifer Aniston, I laughed. I saw the couple doing all the things that are counter productive in an argument or disagreement. They lashed out at each other, stabbed, insulted and said mean things. Because of this, they began to address the stabs, and they were never able to address the real issues. Once these things started, they were unable to salvage the relationship.

There are names for the things they did, they are ‘name-calling’, ‘kitchen sinking’, ‘duffle bagging’, ‘projecting’ and 'hitting below the belt’ and put-downs.

These are communication 'crimes'. When the ‘crimes’ happen, it’s difficult or nearly impossible to resolve a disagreement. These knives or bombs appear, the argument quickly goes South... unless you are skilled at recognizing them and dealing with them as knives and bombs. Doing this is actually a skill. A skill can be learned, like learning to ride a bicycle.

Conflict resolution skills are often learned in college-level interpersonal communication classes, conflict resolution courses, or anger-management programs. Knowing these skills can save a relationship, a friendship, a marriage, and sometimes, a life. I teach them in a workshop I call, "Fight Fire With Diamonds" and I have seen them change people's lives, help them solve problems and save relationships.

The Science of Fair Fighting
One way to prevent disasters in relationships is to learn the science of fair fighting and the ground rules of conflict resolution. These show you what not to do in an argument. This is why counselors and communication workshops can help people learn how to solve problems, arguments, disagreements. They give you the skills to learn what not to do, and how you can stay on track, even if you get off the track.

If you have been trained in communication conflict skills, you know this. But the problem arises when you are in a disagreement with someone who does not know these skills and throws very painful (unfair) knives and flames in a disagreement. Sometimes you will confront someone who breaks all the rules of good conflict resolutions. It helps to know the names of what they are doing.

Crimes of a Fight:
1. Name Calling: Names like: nag, heartless, mean, cold, and stupid.
2. Below the belt: These are remarks which are not fair, not about the argument, and highly personal. (They usually target the other person’s most delicate and vulnerable pain).
3. Duffle Bagging: Pulling out unrelated problems that you have been collecting, which have nothing to do with the issue at hand.
4. Kitchen Sinking: Throwing in every old argument, everything but the Kitchen sink.
5. Stereotyping: Unfairly grouping the other person with others: “of course you’re emotional, all women are.” “You are just like… (Some evil, horrible person you both hate).
6. Projecting: Removing the blame, culpability or responsibility from yourself regarding the other’s feeling, and putting the culpability or blame on them. Example: 1st person: “I’m hurt.” 2nd Person: “You are creating your own pain.”
7. White-Washing: Repainting the other person’s feelings to what you say they are. If your partner says "I am hurt," treat it as true.
8. Put-Downs: These things never work to solve a dispute. They are intended to hurt, and are sometimes crass. “Put on your ‘big-girl’ panties and deal with it.”
9. Attacking the Character of the other person: This is off limits, is meant to cause pain, and does not solve the problem.

All of These Are Knives. Stabs. Whacks.

They usually cause the following effects:
1. They are unproductive and dangerous to relationships, and detrimental to solving problems.
2. They always make you have a natural tendency to want to defend yourself. (But don’t do it, this is just what the abuser wants.)
3. They are the dark-alley paths that leades marriages and relationships to ruin.

What Can You Do?
If you have been trained in conflict skills, the best thing you can do is try to help the other person avoid these pitfalls and gently guide them to stay on the issue, the real problem to solve. Recognize the crimes, and don’t react to them. If you do, you will be not only be distracted from the original issue, but the argument will get worse. A lot of pain will happen on both sides. You can prevent it before it happens.

Four Choices to Deal with Unfair Fighting:
1. When you realize someone is not arguing fairly, simply do not react.
2. Another way is recognize the hurtful ‘below the belt’ comment, and point out this is not fair fighting, or it is hurtful.
3. Another way is to react to the intent and not the hurtful thing said. (What are you trying to do?) This is often is not the best way. People seldom admit they are trying to be hurtful. They seldom stop and look at their intent.
4. A fourth way is to react with humor and guide the disagreement back to the issue.

8 Magic Relationship Rules of Conflict:

1. Stick to the argument at hand.

2. Own your message. If you’re angry, don’t attribute your anger to someone else.

3. Don’t apologize for your feelings. Feelings are real. Accept them, respect them.

4. Make your message about behavior, not an attack on the other’s person’s character or personality.
5. Make sure your verbal and nonverbal messages match.
6. Avoid evaluating, interpreting, or criticizing, or putting your partner down – stick to the problem.
7. Time a fight. Discuss when the flames of anger are controlled.
8. Speak in I language, not you language. Example: "I was hurt," not "you hurt me".

Finally, Think About Your Amygdala.
What’s that? It’s that little almond-sized thingy deep within the middle of your brain where emotions happen. Daniel Goldman, in his book “Emotional Intelligence” said we are often ‘hijacked’ by our amygdalae. He said there are three signs of an amygdala hijack:
1. A strong emotion.
2. A sudden onset.
3. When we reflect later, we regret what we said or did.

This is important to remember in conflict resolution. The little hijacker takes over our airplane and takes us South, really South. We can prevent amygdala hijacks by recognizing them, stopping a hijack before it happens, and most importantly, refusing to negotiate with hijackers.

In other words, think before you speak. My absolutely favorite principle of communication is "Once something is said, you can never take it back."

"Lisa-isms"

In a pickle? Pickles are for eating, not for destroying!
--Lisa

The Accent Academy Blog: Harvard Study Shows: It's Not the Color of Your Skin, It's Your Accent!

2010-03-19T12:56:00.000-04:00

The Accent Academy Blog: Harvard Study Shows: It's Not the Color of Your Skin, It's Your Accent!

Hey! You've Got Elvis Legs! And other Public Speaking Problems

2010-02-02T13:44:00.004-05:00

Elvis Legs -- Noun. A problem that happens when making a speech, and your legs move, shake, shift, dance, and hips swing as you shift back and forth.

Not everyone has Elvis Legs, but a lot of people do. And they don't know it.

People often do weird things when they get up to speak. Some people shift their weight; it looks like they're dancing. I've even seen pacers, blinkers and "pirouretters." I've also seen chronic fidgeters, jingling the change in their pocket. I've seen the "HOLDERS" -- those who need to hold something or play with something like a pencil, a paper clip, or a bottle of water.

I've seen one quite amazing pirouetter, who liked to turn circles to get to the power point screen. I've seen frantic pacers who frightened us all as they sprinted across the room.

And then, I've seen the Elvis Legs (Plenty of them.) It's not only the legs, sometimes people nod excessively, or constantly say "uh" "um" "okay" or "yes." These involuntary movements and sounds coming from your body can be very distracting to your audience. Even worse, the audience judges you as not being confident, in control. A result, they decide what you are saying is not worthwhile.

What makes us lose control of our body when we get up to speak?

I can answer that: Your brain doesn't know you are doing it.

So you have to show your brain. Then, changes start to happen. I was a frantic pacer. It wasn't until I went to a seminar and saw a speaker frantically pacing back and forth that I realized how silly I looked. It was then that I thought hard about bodily control.

I have a cure for that. I have a fix. I call it the "Lisa Jeffery Homeopathic Method of Correcting Mistakes." It works every time. It works with bodily control, with bad speech habits, even with accent reduction. It takes awareness of what your body does when you get up to speak. Somebody, in fact, has to TELL you that you have Elvis legs. Then it takes a plan of how to break bad habbits.

Steps for Perfect God/Goddess Like Bodily Control When Speaking

1. Find out your bad habit, but asking someone to monitor you.

2. Recognize that you are doing it involuntarily

3. Practice your presentation doing the bad thing PURPOSELY. Your brain will begin to recognize that you are doing it. For example, if you are a blinker, practice your speech by blinking constantly. If you are a pacer, practice by walking back and forth frantically. Then, do it again, and ground yourself.

4. Ground yourself by putting your feet about 1 foot apart, keep equal weight on both feet.

5. Lift up you body for perfect posture.

6. Hold nothing in your hands, bend your arms at your elbows and practice natural gestures.

7. THINK about good bodily control. Of course there are other involuntary things that our bodies do. For example, I've trained a couple of students who broke out with red splotches on their neck. "How can I control that?" They asked. This, you can't control, so I suggest wearing a scarf or a turtle next for women. You know it will happen, so be prepared.

So those are the tips. And finally, here is my confession. I love Elvis. I ADORE Elvis. I'm an Elvis fan. I even once went to the candlelight vigil of the anniversary of Elvis' death at Graceland in Memphis. We walked with a crowd of 10,000 crying people, holding candles, to Elvis' monument. Holding my candle, I was sporting a T-Shirt that said "Return to Sender." Elvis is the KING! I'll never deny that.

But... he's they only one allowed to have Elvis legs!

The Art of Explaining Things

2009-02-19T11:10:00.012-05:00

Take Some Tips from the Best: Use Magic and a bit of Stardust

That's it. I'll tell them, Ivan. My friend Ivan called from Alaska and quipped that I need to go to Washington to tell them how to explain the stimulus package so people understand. I said, "Hey, that's what my newsletter is about this month, The Art of Explaining Things!" Then my Persuasion class at Barry University decided that the White House needs to explain the stimulus package in a way that the people in Liberty City understand! (Liberty City is a particularly rough area in Miami, the home of may historical racial riots.) "So that," I said, "is your final exam!" They screamed. I was joking.

But I did think about my hero, the best 'explainer' in the universe; the man who explained physics to millions; the man who explained the Space Shuttle Challenger's o-ring problem on live TV in the 1980s; the late physicist and Renaissance Man, Richard Feynman. I discovered Mr. Feynman's gift when I checked out his 1963 lectures on Physics from the library. I was hungry for thought on long boring drives. Little did I know that Feynman would pack my imagination into a rocket, and shoot me to the moon! My brain was never the same after listening to Richard Feynman. I was amazed at how smart I was, and how much I knew about Physics. He said that we are made of stardust, the same particles that make up the stars, and now I understood chemistry of the universe, completely. He took me to a new point of view.

When Feynman explained nanotechnology, he described how we could write the 24 volumes of the encyclopedia Britanica on the head of a pin. When he explained the fun of understanding systems, he called the workings of machines 'the guts'. The examples go on and on. I could listen to Feynman forever. Feynman is the acknowledged inventor of quantum computing, an expert in nanotechnology, but he was gifted in explaining highly complex things to ordinary people. (And he had so much fun at it!) We loved to listen to him, and gave him the Nobel prize. Feynman died of Cancer in 1988. The world lost one of its comets.

So I began to study Richard Feynman: the way he talked, his brave and courageous way of living life and explaining life. How did he do it? How can I learn (and teach) the magical techniques of this gifted communicator? How can I use Richard Feynman's style to help people learn to motivate others, captivate audiences, win clients, influence and inspire people? After reading most of his books, and books written about him, I came up with some ideas to practice communicating as dazzling as Richard Feynman.

5 Ways To Explain Things so People Remember Them - Feynman Style

1. Use vivid, visual words. (Create a visual snapshot in people's minds). For example, Feynman uses jumping into a pool to explain light.

2. Evoke the senses: Feynman explains the Space Shuttle Challenger accident with glass of ice-water on TV, and dropped the shuttle's o-ring in it, clamped. When he pulled it out, it remained misshapen when the clamp was removed -- showing that the cold prevented the o-rings from contracting!

3. Break down information into a journey. For example, you can use train trips and each point is stop. You can use a flight, a mountain climb, a hike. Feynman used "exploring a new continent" to explain nature. He said, "We see water and call it a river because that's what we know. But actually, it's a lake!"

4. Make up a metaphor, use something people know. Turn complex things into things that we know and which we can relate. I use "self-esteem does not arrive by FedEx" to explain that you must learn and apply techniques to raise your own self-esteem.

5. Don't explain something the boring way, no one will remember it. Be brave, be different. After practicing metaphors in my coaching session, one of my clients created a brilliant metaphor to explain a quantity of liquid used in his manufacturing process. Instead of "ml" or "millileter" he said the amount of liquid "equivalent to the weight of the ink in a fingerprint." (Bravo, George! Now that is a Feynman-style thing, something people remember!)

You Can Practice! Two Feynman-Style exercises to help you transform your 'tech-talk' or 'sales talk' into music:

1. Imagine your information as place. Feynman used a pool. You can imagine your 'thing' as a building! Take auditing, for example. What does the entrance way of auditing look like? When you enter a room, what do you see? What does the basement look like? This technique works for flight safety as easy as it works for the steps in mediation or meditation! Play with your visual journey until you perfect your message in a way people can "see" what you are explaining. You may have to experiment with several places before you find the right one that works.

2. Choose an unrelated object, like an orange, or something odd. People will connect your information to the visual and will remember what you are saying. Be unusual. For example, use an orange to explain a mortgage! (What happens when you turn it into juice?) Have some "Feynman" fun! I was coaching a client on how to present her complex natural therapy in 5 major steps. We used the poster in the room - a Dr. Seuss poster of the "Cat and the Hat" -- to move from point to point. All five points fit the five things the cat was juggling! (She didn't use the poster in her presentation, but she mastered the technique of helping people move from step to step.) And that's the "Feynman-style" trick of getting people to REMEMBER what you are saying. (Hooray, Amy!)

Try these exercises to explain anything: your relationships, your business, your service, your product, your vision, physics, or (yes!) even stimulus plans!

It takes some practice to acquire the skill, but it's fun, and highly effective. You won't find your answers on your first try, but you get better at it! Mr. Feynman, you did much more than teach us physics, you taught us the art of explaining things!

Fun With Feynman

Here are some fun Videos about Richard Feynman:

Feynman explains confusion by talking about the ape, two sticks and a banana.

Feynman explaining nature as a game of chess Feynman talks about uncertainty
The Website for Feynman online

"If you have any talent, or any occupation that delights you, do it, and do it to the hilt.

Don’t ask why, or what difficulties you may get into."

- Richard Feynman

Hear more about the techniques of Richard Feynman and other Excellent Communicators in Lisa's The Art of Being Memorable Workshop and KeynoteA fun and lively program that helps you polish your authentic self, find the sparkle that's inside you, and ignite it. Learn techniques to improve your authenticity, listening skills, confidence and impact. (Also available in private executive coaching.)

For more tips on being a great public speaker, contact Lisa Jeffery for private executive coaching, workshops or keynotes.

Lisa Jeffery's Lisa-isms (Saying of the Month)

2009-02-18T01:49:00.001-05:00

Lisa-isms

Saying of the Month

Like Richard Feynman, aspire to light your words on fire!

Courage, Grit and the 'Bradbury' Effect

2009-01-05T10:33:00.004-05:00

by Lisa Jeffery

grit- n. 1. firmness of character; indomitable spirit; pluck...
(Now "pluck"... that's a word I've always liked!)

Watch an interview with Tom Cruise about it on Youtube.

The true story was about failed attempt from within the German Army to kill Hitler. It was a valiant attempt. Actually, months later Hitler committed suicide. Who would have thought that the attempt was unnecessary, that fate, the universe, truth or time would accomplish it for them, without them doing anything?

So this made me the think of the "Bradbury" Effect. Remember Steven Bradbury, the Austrailan Speed skater in the 2002 Olympics, who was in last place, and in a second, won the gold because everyone else fell down? He WON because he was so far behind and protected from the fall!

He's my hero of all times! It just goes to show that you CAN win, even when you are last place and everything is against you. Colonel Staffenburg and his friends, almost pulled a "Bradbury". They were all executed for trying to kill Hitler, If they had only known! But they were doing the RIGHT thing.

'DOING A BRADBURY' has now become a permanent part of the Australian vernacular meaning 'A FLUKEY SUCCESS'. Steven Bradbury has now gone on to be a motivational speaker. He talks about luck, but says

"When your moment to shine presents itself will YOU be IN POSITION and PREPARED to be the next to 'DO A BRADBURY'?"

Watch Steven Bradbury's Winning Olympic Race on Youtube.

So, it just shows you, take me to a movie, and my thoughts go wild for days!

Lisa

"Lisa-isms"

"Now I know that's got something to do with something!"
Lisa

The Art of Being Memorable

2008-10-18T22:19:00.012-04:00

Be Distinctive. Be exuberant. Be authentic. Have Moxie!

We never forget memorable people. They say something and we think about it for days. We think about them often, we remember what they say, how they say it and what they do. How is it that some people are more memorable than others? What is it that makes them unforgettable?

What does it mean to be memorable? Do you know, or have you met memorable people even briefly? Are you one? Do you want to be more memorable, but don't know how?

Usually, memorable people seem to have a way of lighting up the room; of gathering energy; of having a strong, powerful, authentic self. We like to be around them. They have some sort of magical, mysterious, magnetic quality about them.

When you are memorable, it's easy to motivate others, captivate audiences, win clients, succeed in job interviews, and influence people. You can develop the confidence and charisma that can help you become memorable to everyone around you. Did I say charisma? Did I say develop it? Yes, I believe you can. I believe it starts with moxie.

Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison, in her book, Exuberance: The Passion for Life, says that exuberance is one of secrets of being memorable. "Exuberant people," she says, "take in the world and act upon it differently than those who are less lively and less energetically engaged. They hold their ideas with passion and delight, and they act upon them with dispatch." "Exuberance is also," she said, "contagious. As it spreads pell-mell throughout a group, exuberance excites, it delights, and it dispels tension."

This is why I believe that exuberance is one of the ingredients for being memorable. However, there are OTHER ways of being memorable too:

10 Ways to Be Memorable

1. Be distinctive. It's okay if you are different. Find your authentic self... and be YOU.
(Abraham Lincoln said, "Whatever you are, be a good one!")
2. Be a good listener. Be interested in people. Ask questions ALWAYS.
(We adore people who are interested in us!)
3. Understand how people perceive you and ask yourself "is this how I want to be perceived?"
(If not, do some work on the nonverbal communication messages you are sending out.)
4. Raise your confidence and self-esteem levels yourself -- you are responsible for your own self esteem!
(Self-esteem does not arrive by FedEx. You can learn techniques to raise your confidence.)
5. Develop moxie, enthusiasm, exuberance.
(Moxie is a word for courage, gutsy, brave.)
6. Be mysterious.
(Say just enough, but not too much! We fear people who self disclose too much!)
7. Nurture and praise your creativity.
(Creativity needs food and water to grow. It must be cultivated!)
8. Improve you Memory and thought.
(There are many techniques to improve memory. Learn one! They can be fun, and impressive.)
9. Use the magic power of words.
(You can say something the boring way, or you use metaphors, rhythm, and sparkling words to express yourself.)
10. Have strong positive non-verbal communication.
(Posture, a pleasant voice and a smile are the most powerful communication tools!)

Here are two exercises to help you become more memorable:

1. Name five people who are memorable to you. They can be someone you know well, someone you’ve had a brief conversation with, or a famous person you can never forget. Then, try to pinpoint what is about them that made them memorable. The way they talked? The way they listened? Was it their manners? Their intellect? Was it the profound things they said? Was it something they said, something they did? There is more than one way to be memorable. Once you identify the way, you can begin to work on being more memorable yourself.

2. The GLOATING Exercise. Yes, gloat! Now! The exercise is to think about all the things you love about yourself. To do this, you have to put all inhibitions aside. Draw a circle; fill in the circle with LOTS of things you love about yourself. What is it about that makes you memorable?
A Word About Enthusiasm John Maxwell wrote that "When the members of a team are enthusiastic, the whole team becomes highly energized. And that energy produces power." Enthusiasm is that ‘certain something’ that makes the distinction between mediocre and excellent. An enthusiastic working environment brings excitement and energy that help motivate everyone involved in the task or project. According to Alina Yekelchik, Research Coordinator, at Yale University, team members who possess an enthusiastic attitude share several common characteristics.

1. They Take Responsibility for Their Own Enthusiasm
– Attitude is a choice, including enthusiasm. They choose to exude a positive and upbeat attitude on their own and not wait for outside validation or positive influences. They rely on themselves and take responsibility for their choices.
2. They Act Their Way into Feeling
– They take the initiative in developing an enthusiastic outlook and not rely on enthusiasm to propel them to action.
3. They Believe in What They Do
– They concentrate on the positive aspects of work and avoid dwelling on the negative.
4. They Spend Time with Other Enthusiastic People
– A positive energy will travel from person to person and if you surround yourself with enthusiastic people,
the outcome will be spectacular.

To improve your Enthusiasm:
• Show a sense of urgency
– setting a deadline for a project will help you reenergize and prioritize, thus increasing your level of energy.
• Be willing to do more
– go above and beyond the call of duty to show the team your invaluable input, your enthusiasm for your work will transfer onto your teammates.
• Strive for excellence
- do not settle for mediocrity, strive to do and be the best you can.

My "Art of Being Memorable" Workshop and Keynote...
is a fun and lively program that helps you polish your authentic self, find the sparkle that's inside you, and ignite it. It includes ways to improve your authenticity, listening skills, and confidence. (Also available in private executive coaching.)

For more tips on being a great public speaker, contact Lisa Jeffery for private executive coaching, workshops or keynotes.

A Can of Moxie

mox·ie: (mok-see)
– noun Slang.
1. vigor; verve; pep.
2. courage, nerve.
3. skill; know-how.
4. The ability to face difficulty with spirit and courage.
5. Energy, enthusiasm

Moxie is soft drink that is still found in parts of New England, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania.

The name entered the American language, when a person was said to be "full of Moxie," meaning that the person was skillful, or spirited.

Moxie became unique in that it was the name of a commercially produced soft drink, also included in dictionaries. The popularity of Moxie produced popular advertising jingles such as "Just Make It Moxie for Mine" and president Calvin Coolidge was known to have favored the drink. Falling out of favor due to competition from Coca Cola, demand for the soft drink has waned in recent years, although demand for it still exists in the New England area. It is, since May 10, 2005, the official state soft drink of Maine.

The word has entered into the English language as a noun meaning spirit, energy courage. Be different! Have lots of moxie!

This Month's Recommended Book

The New Secrets of Charisma :
How to Discover and Unleash your Hidden Powers
by Doe Lang, Ph.D.

Synopsis
Charisma is that special something that separates leaders from followers and winners from also-rans. In this new, updated edition of her bestselling classic, Doe Lang shows that at any age, in any job, and with any educational degree, anyone can learn to access and radiate his or her charisma. Through Lang's internationally renowned and proven program, readers learn to trust themselves and share with others their unique and positive qualities--and become the people they've always desired to be.

Feedback
"It was a pleasure to hear you speak and meet you at the Women's Leadership Exchange Conference, 2008, in Fort Lauderdale. Your vibrant personality is contagious. Thank you for your time and interest in my questions during the coaching session. You helped me unravel my problem of inspiring leadership within my group. I hope to have another opportunity to glean from your knowledge and skills!"

— Arden Halsey,
Send Out Cards, Inc.
Women's Leadership Exchange Conference, Fort Lauderdale, 2008

Your comments, suggestions, and contributions regarding this newsletter are welcome. Please email your feedback to us!

Lisa-isms

Saying of the Month:

Dante said there's a place reserved in hell for people who are indifferent!

Lisa

John McCain Would Fail My Speech Debate Class

2008-09-26T23:37:00.003-04:00

I couldn't bear to watch. Perhaps McCain didn't realize that CBS showed his face on a split screen next to Obama while Obama was speaking. I watched him smirk,giggle, puff up, stamp his feet, ignore, make fun of, patronize, and sometimes just burst out laughing when his opponent said something he disagreed with, or felt embarrassed about. Was this a PRESIDENTIAL debate?

I teach my students in my college speech classes that nonverbal communication is 93% of communication. The words only count for for 7%! Laughing at, ridiculing someone non-verbally speaks VOLUMES about character, and winning the debate. Like the debate between Nixon and Kennedy, it was different if you saw it on TV as opposed to Radio. Nixon lost that debate, due to TV, and the presidential election, because of his poor, sloppy, nervous behavior on screen compared to Kennedy, who was composed, very articulate and calm. America wanted a calm, leader-like president. (We still do.)

As I also teach Propaganda, I was also horrified to see McCain regularly resort to the worst propaganda device of all. It's called "glittering generalities" -- trying to 'hook' people on emotions of goodness, usually works best when you use a story of a single person. While Obama mentioned frightening facts, McCain would regularly resort to personal stories about a Mother who spoke to him about her dead son in Iraq, or how he spoke with individual under-supported troops.... They were very sad stories indeed. They make us cry. But this was a propaganda trick, a devilish device designed to deflect our attention away from the facts. It was McCain's best debate tactic. http://www.sourcewatch.org/index.php?title=Glittering_generalities

As a university speech teacher, if I were grading this debate, I would give McCain a D-. I would give Obama an A, based on skill and effort. Obama overcame his opponent on skilled content, delivery, and critical thinking skills. His delivery was as good as his content -- which is paramount.

But as a normal everyday person, as a wartime veteran, who is living in a country that is falling apart, I am frightened that America could be fooled again by a president who uses such skilled propaganda devices to try to make us believe something that leads us down the path of destruction.

I usually try to avoid commenting on politics. But as a speech teacher, I had to comment on this debate. I watched John McCain blink so many time in indignation, that I thought at one point he was even sending a message in Morse Code to his speech coach! Indignation.... loses a debate.

Women's Leadership Exchange - Fort Lauderdale

2008-05-13T16:57:00.000-04:00

Women's Leadership Exchange - Ft. Lauderdale
http://www.womensleadershipexcange.com

"Don’t miss our esteemed speaker lineup this year in Ft. Lauderdale! You have the unique opportunity to personally meet and learn from the very best in the business:"

On June 17, I'll be one of the "Growth Guru" speakers at the Women's Leadership Exhange conference in Fort Lauderdale. My communication skills workshop is called: "Fight Fire With Diamonds: How to Deal with Difficult People." I'll also be providing "speed coaching" on communication skills between workshops. This conference is for women business owners and entrepreneurs.

New! Accent Reduction Classes at FIU

2008-05-05T00:58:00.000-04:00

Give yourself
Voice and Speech Power!
Accent Reduction Classes at FIU Kovens Conference Center:
May 31, June14, June 21, July 12, July 19, and August 2

Click here to enlarge:

Miami: The Magic City of a Million Magnificent Accents

2008-05-02T11:00:00.000-04:00

In South Beach, you can walk down Lincoln Road and hear dozens of languages, hundreds of accents, and plenty of "blah, blah, blah" and "bleh, bleh, bleh." You can watch amazing characters with their birds, dogs, lizards, even snakes going for a Sunday sashay down Ocean drive.

While some people know me (Lisa), EVERYBODY knows my famous African Gray Parrot, Valentina. She speaks very elegant English, with a 500-word vocabulary and no accent. (Of course! Her mommy is a speech teacher!)

Valentina even has a job. She works in the entertainment business. She's the lead entertainer, comedian and "conversationalist" in a nursing home. So while mommy is teaching people how to speak better and reduce their accent, Valentina is telling stories to the nursing home residents, bossing around the staff, and flirting with ambulance drivers -- oh sorry, doctors, paramedics, and mail carriers too.

In Miami, we understand accents. But if you want to communicate with the rest of the world, you have to speak clearer English. You have to speak with distinction. Studies show that only 3 out of 100 Americans articulate properly, so foreigners have to try to learn English from people who speak bad street talk. In fact, 1/3 of Americans need some kind of voice and articulation training, but most of them don't ever get it.

If you speak with an accent, you can't afford to speak "street talk" if you want to get ahead. You have to speak with distinction and elegance. Then you'll get selected for the job in that interview; you'll sell that client your product or service, because they LIKE listening to you!

We forgive Americans for saying "gunna" and "wanna" but we do NOT forgive foreigners. So you have to learn to be BETTER, CLEARER. You don't want to lose your accent; you want to use it as an ASSET!

I can help you. In either private coaching sessions or scheduled workshops, I guarantee results that you will make a breakthrough in your accent reduction. My accent reduction coaching sessions can be done in person in Miami, or over the telephone. To find out more of how I can help you, visit my website at: http://www.accentreductionmiami.com/.

Here's a Funny Story:
In 1995, I made a speech in French to 5,000 people in Nice, France. I mispronounced one word... When I meant to say, "I came to Monaco to get my Masters Degree," with my poor American accent in French, I said, "I came to Monaco to get my UTERUS." The audience was sweet and charming and forgave me. I just heard a murmur run through the crowd. But after the speech, a friend told me what I had actually said. I melted like a stick of butter. It took months to recover. (Maybe years.)

It was then that I began an intense program of accent reduction in French. The techniques I learned transformed my thinking, and more importantly, my accent!

I am one of the few, if not the ONLY accent reduction coaches in Miami, and maybe America, who has actually gone through it herself in another language! When I worked in a PR firm in Paris and Monaco and was TERRIFIED to talk on the phone, but I had to.

I know your fear, personally. I have unique insights into what you are facing with your accent reduction challenges, and know how to help you.

It's true you can find accent reduction coaches all over America. Most of them are speech trainers, some might be college speech teachers, but not all. None of them has been in your shoes: lived and worked and tried to succeed in a foreign country in another language
I know what it means to improve an accent:- I had to make speeches in France to thousands of people in French- I am a University Speech and Communication Professor- I am a former TV and radio broadcaster- I am a motivational speaker- I am a business woman- I am the famous Valentina's mommy.

I like to throw in a little work in public speaking and building confidence techniques in my accent reduction coaching sessions in Miami. As Dale Carnegie said, public speaking is not about public speaking, it's about "How to win friends and influence people!"

Free Accent Reduction Consultation:
For a Free 30-minute telephone consultation on how you can improve your accent:
Contact: Miami Accent Reduction Coach Lisa Jeffery, MBA, MA
http://www.accentreductionmiami.com/

Also Offering Keynotes, Coaching and Group Coaching, Workshops and Seminars: Accent Reduction, Voice and Articulation, Public Speaking, Overcome Anxiety, Building Confidence & Self Esteem, Interpersonal Communication, Business Communication, Customer Service.

Spanish Speakers like Yellow

2008-04-30T23:38:00.001-04:00

It's yellow! No, I mean it's jello! Well, jou know what I mean!

I get tickled with how my Spanish speaking accent reduction clients always get the "Y" and "J" sounds mixed up. I love the yellow/jello problem. It's typical in the accent of Spanish speakers speaking English. Why does it always happen and how do we stop it? That's a question they always ask me. We both know that they know how to make both sounds correctly, but it always happens.

What's going on with that? Well, first of all, it's not a speech mix up, it's a brain mix up. The brain gets confused and wants to switch the sounds in the Spanish-speaking mind. You want to say J when you're supposed to say Y and vice versa and you keep getting it mixed up. It's because the language of Spanish switches it. So how do you fix it?

Well I like to suggest tricking the brain. Say it wrong, and say it right, say it wrong, and say it right. Stand up and change positions as you say, this will signal the brain that something different is happening. Say each sound until the brain understands.

If you've ever seen fresh snow, kids love to make a path through the fresh snowfall. If it's deep, all the kids follow the same crooked path to school. That's what you have done for the sounds these letters make in your brain. You will keep following the path until you build a new one.

Here's a trick for jou (I mean you!)

To make sure you say the Y sound correctly, say i as in "it". Hold the sound i, then push your toungue forward, but don't let it touch the gum ridge. So here's how you practice:
i-yellow
i-you
i-young
i-yes
i-yell

It sounds strange at first, but the more you practice this technique the easier it will be to say the y sound instead of the j sound.

Then, move on to sentences and have some fun! Here are some practice sentences:

Joe dropped the jo-yo into the yam-flavored jam.
Jill will yell if Jake Yates drops the yoke on her jacket.
You young jury jerks just yell and yell and you jeer too!

Accent reduction does not have to be a miserable, tedious process. It can be fun if you can laugh at yourself while correcting yourself. My accent reduction clients often begin correcting themselves in about the third week of accent reduction coaching. That's when the miracle happens!

For more information on accent reduction coaching, classes and helpful hints, visit my website and sign up for my mothnly newsletter. http://www.crossingborderscommunication.com/.

How "Asteroid 243" and Poetry Can Teach Us How to Talk

2008-04-29T13:29:00.000-04:00

When my coaching client, Virginia, a Spanish speaker, asked me, “How do I know where to place emphasis on words?” I immediately thought of Ida and Dactyl.

Ida is an asteroid. Dactyl is her very own moon. On Aug. 28, 1993, the Galileo spacecraft, on its way to Jupiter, took photographs of the first asteroid ever discovered to have its own little moon. They named Asteroid 243 and her little friend, “Ida and Dactyl” and took dozens of photographs of the pair's magnificent journey across the galaxy. Some scientist must have known Greek mythology because there is nothing more perfect than naming an asteroid and her little sidekick “Ida and Dactyl."

I melted with emotion, because I once lived on the island of Crete, and I know the story of Ida and Dactyl. The story goes that Zeus was born in a cave on Crete's Mt. Ida. When Rhea gave birth to Zeus, she dug her ten fingers into the ground, and Gaia, Earth mother sprang forth ten little spirits called Dactyls. They were short guys, little benevolent spirits who protected women. They guarded and protected Rhea and Zeus and soon, Mt. Ida was full of Dactyls.

How did I find this delightful information about an asteroid by accident? I was doing a Goggle search for "dactyls" – not the sweet little spirits, (although I could use a few) but for special words for my poetry. I needed "dactyls" and "double dactyls" to achieve a certain rhythm.

"Dactyl" is also a word in Greek that means finger. (Aha! That's why those spirits were called Dactyls!) If you look at your finger, you have one long bone, and then two small ones, just like dactyl words!

When Virginia asked me that question, it occurred to me that you can steal some of the tricks of poets and great speakers to learn the right stress and emphasis in English. To find the right stress patterns, you can practice with a list of dactyls, anapests and amphibracs.

Stress Patterns in Words

The sound and emphasis in English makes words and groups of words pleasant and intrinsically delightful (musical, actually). In order to improve your pronunciation, focus on pronouncing the stressed syllable clearly. If this one is clear, it should improve your pronunciation of the entire word! Take some tips from the poets:

* Dactyls are three-syllable words with the emphasis on the first syllable followed by two unstressed syllables. Their stress pattern goes DA-da-da... Words like Canada, manager, dangerous, turpitude, menopause, sentiment and aspirin are dactyls.

* Double dactyls are six-syllable words with the emphasis on the first and fourth syllables. Their stress pattern goes "DA-da-da DA-da-da.” Mediterranean, gubernatorial, meteorologist, alphanumerically, ultramagnificient, and archaeological are double dactyls.

* Anapests are sometimes called “anti dactyls” because the stress pattern is the opposite of dactyl’s. The pattern goes da-da-DA. Words such as cavalier, tambourine, Marianne, seventeen, interrupt and disappear and groups of words such as “in your EAR” qualify as anapestic feet. This is a speedy and propulsive rhythm. (Dr. Seuss loved anapests: "I don't LIKE green eggs and HAM, Sam I AM, Sam I AM!")
* Amphibrachs - the stress pattern goes da-DA-da. Words like remember, Virginia, important, amazing and abundant are amphibrachs.Stress Patterns in Sentences English has a musical quality that has a unique melody and rhythm. What makes English beautiful is that we put stress patterns in our words too. If we leave out the music of English, we often mispronounce words and send monotone messages which are boring. To stop sounding jumbled, monotone or unclear, let certain words jump and poke out of your sentence! Many of my Spanish speaking, French speaking and Russian speaking clients often place emphasis on the wrong words. Also many Spanish speakers and Chinese speakers speak in monotone sentences that make English dull and difficult to understand. Many native English speakers face a monotone voice from bad habits in childhood. Maybe they grew up speaking softly because they lived in a condo and wanted to prevent complaints from neighbors! Whatever your voice problems, you can begin to fix them.

There are three components to speak English clearly And Help Reduce Your Accent:

* Sounds - Vowels and consonants

* Rhythm - stressed and unstressed words

* Intonation - the high-low pitch in a sentence

Anyone can improve the way they sound by improving the stress patterns, creating vocal variety. If you are in sales, you want to make your voice pleasant, especially on the telephone. The secret it to first isolate the words and practice working them into your speech. Attend a full day workshop at Florida International University Kovens Conference Center and learn to speak clearer by building good habits!

Voice and Speech Power! Accent Reduction and Articulation Workshop

The lively and interactive workshop will help you:

Identify and correct articulation deficiencies
Address concerns regarding speaking too fast, pitch, loudness, and accent reduction
Feel less anxious about interviews, public speaking- Develop speech tools that could prepare you for better jobs and sales

Saturday Workshops, 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.
Courses offered:
May 17, May 24, June 14, June 21, July 12 and July 19
Cost: $175

FIU Kovens Conference Center, 3000 NE 151 Street, North Miami - Free Parking on-siteTo register and for more info: http://www.crossingborderscommunication.com/
email: info@crossingborderscommunication.com or Tel. (305) 479-8337

Accent Reduction Workshop: Voice and Speech Power!

2008-04-29T13:00:00.000-04:00

How To Pronounce "the" in English

2008-03-05T11:48:00.000-05:00

THEE and THUH Problem:

English is confusing. We don't often pronounce words the way they are written. One of the biggest mistakes I hear when people are reading out loud is that they say THEE when they should say THUH. If you read from a tele-prompter on TV, or you are reading from a written speech, you might make this mistake. I've heard many people make this error, even leading politicians who speak English as their first language!

There are some simple rules to help you pronounce it right. Normally we pronounce "the" with a short sound (like "thuh"). But when "the" comes before a vowel sound, we pronounce it as a long "thee."

A - we write "the apple" - we say "thee apple"
E - we write "the egg" - we say "thee egg"
I - we write "the ice cube" - we say "thee ice cube"
O - we write "the orange" - we say "thee orange"
U - we write "the uncut bread" - we say "thee uncut bread"

Here's a tip: If you are reading out loud from a script, you might want to spell out the word "THEE" when you precede it with a word that begins with a vowel, to make sure you do not mispronounce the tricky "the."

Remember that what we SAY matters, not what we write. It's the SOUND that matters, not the letter.

When preceding a consonant, we say "thuh". But it gets tricky with consonants that have vowel sounds. So remember, if it sounds like a vowel.... say "thee" not "thuh". Here's some examples:

H - we write "the house" - we say "thuh house" (consonant sound)
H - we write "the hour" - we say "thee hour" (vowel sound "our")
U - we write "the university" - we say "thuh university" (consonant sound)
U - we write "the umbrella" - we say "thee umbrella" (vowel sound)

Now, once you learn that simple rule, remember to distinguish the right sound for "the."

There is one more use of the sound "thee". It's the emphatic the (thee). We use the sound "thee" when we want place emphasis on something.

Sam: I saw the (thuh) CEO yesterday.
Joe: You mean The (thee) CEO of our company?
Sam: Of course!

So be careful when you read out loud. Many people make this mistake, as it's often not one of those things that pointed out in school. It's one of those invisible rules of good pronounciation.

Can I talk to someone who speaks English?

2008-01-22T20:58:00.001-05:00

Have you ever heard that, or said that? If you are on the receiving end of this comment, it can profoundly affect your confidence and self-esteem. If you are saying this, you are frustrated because the person you're talking to can't understand you and you can't understand them.

The problem creates misunderstanding, anger and complaints on the part of the customers. It creates loss of productivity in employees. Everyone is unhappy. The problem will not go away by itself, and there is no magic fix.

I Was an Idiot in French
I experienced these insults when I went to graduate school in France. I was not stupid, but when people heard my heavy American accent, they treated me as if I were stupid. Some even told me so. As a result of other people’s criticism (real or imagined), I became shy, silent, and spoke as little as possible. I wanted to speak, but was afraid and ashamed.

When I was selected for the Rotary International Ambassadorial Scholarship to the University of Monaco, I was told I had to make six speeches in French. I was terrified, even though I'm a former broadcaster and ultra-articulate in English. Even though I spoke French, my speech was still very poor. I knew I did not want to be laughed at.

The Secrets of Shedding an Accent
So I attended training and coaching to shed my American accent and speak articulate French. There, I learned techniques in accent reduction that changed my life. I learned to move my mouth differently. This was the secret. I still made mistakes when I spoke to an audience of 5,000 people. But I kept practicing, and I learned that confidence is an acquired trait.

Confidence can be learned
This is why I teach confidence as a major component of my Accent Reduction and speech training. These experiences, and the techniques I acquired in France, helped me in a priceless way. It gave me the magical gift of helping others overcome their accent problems.

Tune Your Ears to International Listening
I also developed an “international ear” to understand any accent, and began to speak very clear, articulate English after living all my adult life abroad in six countries throughout Europe and Africa. Although it took me many years to realize it, this distinguished me from my colleagues who teach accent reduction and speech and have lived all their lives in this country.

You Will See Results
I’ve trained more than more than 3,000 people in English accent reduction and speech in the United States and other countries. Some of my clients are television news celebrities, some are vice presidents and CEOs. Some are the people who sell me my coffee, and answer the phone if I have to call 911. One got a promotion he wanted. One went on to get her Law degree. One got a job. One found a wife. One lobbied to change a bill in congress. One made the cover of Newsweek. Regardless of what you do, you can benefit from Accent reduction training.

Multi-lingual Classrooms
I like to teach people of all different native languages mixed together in one classroom, including Americans. I find the mix is magical, as everyone helps the others hear their specific flaws. I witness breakthroughs in every class. I even teach American young adults to get over the “Valley Girl” style of talk. And I treat African American Ebonics with the respect of a language, and help African Americans to speak Standard English.

There is hope. We are diverse world. Most of us do speak English. And we can learn to understand each other and speak to each other, using simple techniques and lots of practice!

Tips to Practice
1. Watch British Movies... and mimic the stars
2. Listen to books on tape, and repeat the story with the narrator.
3. Open your mouth wider! This is a major problem.
4. Articulate all consonants... Exaggerate in practice
5. Slow down! English is spoken at a slower rate than most languages.

Accent Reduction and Articulation Classes

2008-01-22T20:53:00.000-05:00

When your customers don’t understand your frontline employees, it creates complaints, anger and loss of business. Heavy foreign accents, Ebonics, talking too fast, and sloppy speech cause listeners to become distracted or prejudiced, or worse - angry, especially if they are in a hurry. They tune out and focus on mistakes instead of messages.

Only three out 100 Americans articulate properly. Two thirds of the population need formal training in speech and articulation. This creates a problem for Spanish speakers (and other native language speakers) who come to America and listen to poor speech. They mimic poor English, like “gunna,” “dunno” and “wanna” and this is not acceptable coming from the mouths of “foreigners.”

The Problem is Not only Speech, but Listening
While people in Miami may be accustomed to deciphering foreign accents, people from Middle America are not. They cannot make out a single word because their ears are not trained to exotic accents. So our ears, not only mouths, need to be tuned and trained to decipher different accents. (Including Boston and Mississippi accents!) For this reason, I also include Listening Skills and “Tuning Your Ears” in my accent reduction classes.

The good news is that anyone can change and improve their accent, but it takes speech training, not English classes, to make a significant breakthrough. It takes practice. It takes determination and the right skills. Actresses and actors regularly practice this technique and any accent can be completely changed. You can learn techniques to correct your speech so people do not become angry, annoyed, or confused.

New York Times: "America is Ready For An Accent"
After one of my clients made the cover of Newsweek, the New York Times wrote an article that said, “She showed America that we are ready for accents, as long as they are not too strong.”

I Believe Ebonics is a Language
I treat Ebonics as if it were a language that deserves respect. In my opinion, it is special language challenge that should be considered equal to Spanish, French, and Chinese. For children, it is spoken at home and creates a sense of community. It has a rich historical significance in American History – it helped create a protective identity during and after slavery, and has fascinating linguistic roots in African languages. However, if African American adults are to succeed in a world where Standard English is spoken, their success rate climbs when they can shed the Ebonics at work and speak Standard English. I help African Americans overcome Ebonics with grace.

When I began teaching Accent Reduction in Miami in 2002, I made a surprising and shocking discovery. My Spanish-speaking students told me they never get a chance to speak English. At work, at the grocery store, at restaurants, they said,

“Everyone speaks Spanish. Even when we try to speak English, they understand we speak Spanish because of our accents, and they answer in Spanish. So many days go by that we NEVER speak English.”

My African American students report the same phenomenon:

“Everyone in my community speaks Ebonics, so I never get a chance to speak clear Standard English. If I do, people laugh at me.”

This phenomenon poses a difficult challenge. At some point, I ask my students to stop speaking their native language, or seek out new opportunities to speak English. “If your friends laugh at you for speaking English clearly,” I say, “find some new friends that won’t laugh at you.”

What Can You Do To Improve Your Standard English?
I recommend book clubs, volunteering, discussion groups, mentoring and joining clubs like Toastmasters that give you opportuntities to practice. I also recommend public speaking classes, coaching and accent reduction classes. To find out about classes, contact me at lisa@crossingborderscommunication.com.

Timrod and Dylan

2006-09-19T19:45:00.000-04:00

Hooray for Dylan!

2006-09-19T19:38:00.000-04:00

Hooray for Bob Dylan! Homer would nod with approval, T.S. Elliot would cackle with delight, and Abraham Lincoln would grin and say bravo! I myself was delighted when I was driving in my car and heard the news story about some blogger who discovered that Bob Dylan used the lines of the civil war poet Henry Timrod, the poet laureate of the Confederacy in his new album. "Oh, this is wonderful, this is perfect," I yelled at oncoming traffic... Whaooooooo! In keeping with my series on "Steal like Crazy until you Make Yourself Up", thanks Bob!Bob Dylan has only done what every great speaker, great poet, and great songwriter has been doing for centuries, for millennia. I don't like that they are calling it 'borrowing' though. Motoko Rich of The New York Times called Dylan a magpie... now that's more like it!
"In Mr. Dylan's case, critics and fans have long described the songwriter's magpie tendencies, looking upon that as a manifestation of his genius, not unlike other great writers and poets like T. S. Eliot or James Joyce who have referenced past works."T.S. Elliot said that ""Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal; bad poets deface what they take, and good poets make it into something better, or at least something different." Homer himself said that "Poetic License" which we now call "Artistic License" is being able to take what you want for your yarns, speeches and songs. I have a license, Abraham Lincoln and Winston Churchill had one, and now Dylan does too! And in doing so, not only do we enjoy his songs, but we learned about about an obscure poet who was lost in American History!This is why I always say to my clients and students: read, read, read, watch, study great speakers, find sparkling words, copy their STYLE! Then.... play like you are them! Chances are, the style of the speaker you like is the same style you have deep in your psyche. Until you become a pro at it, this is the best way to "make yourself up."Anyway, the words Dylan used from Timrod were fantastic: “More frailer than the flowers, these precious hours,” How magic is that? Heck, Dr. Martin Luther King stole words from Lincoln, who stole words from the Bible!
"The opening words that resonated to the ear were about cadence as well as content. He began with two rhyming words: four score. This set in motion a symphony of melodious sounds. The Hebrew cadence, rendered in Elizabethan English, would have been stated slowly by Lincoln: “Four . . . score.”
The biblical ring of his opening words was rooted in lines from Psalm 90: The days of our years are threescore years and ten; And if by reason of strength they be fourscore years."So there you have it. I'll have more on "Steal Like Crazy Until You Make Yourself Up" later as I become a magpie myself and look for more goodies to "steal." (And Homer nods....)

Thucydides and Lincoln

2006-09-08T19:49:00.000-04:00

Steal Like Crazy Until You Make Yourself Up!

2006-09-08T19:47:00.000-04:00

The Constantly Reappearing "Stolen" Techniques of the Great Speakers

I have a fun assignment in my public speaking class. We study the greatest speeches ever made. My stack of these speeches is now a mile high, because I’m very greedy and love finding new speeches. A funny thing happens as we start to study the great techniques of the masters: the same techniques pop up over and over again. They all copy each other! For example, Abraham Lincoln’s message in the Gettysburg Address was the same message in the funeral oration at the ancient Greek leader, Peri cles's funeral during the Peloponnesian War as described by Thucydides!So after great delight in studying these speeches, I came up with a brilliant stolen idea: “Steal like crazy until you make yourself up!” (I’m talking techniques, not plagerism!) So here are some of the techniques that appear again and again in speeches. You too can steal these ideas. They turn a speech into magic!

Techniques to Copy from the Great Speakers:
Use parallel sentences: Start your sentences (or paragraphs) the same way.
Us vs. them (one or the other) (polarizing)
The Seesaw Effect (ask not what… but what)
Metaphors (highly successful!)
The List (the Homeric List – Homer first made use of the list. It’s powerful!)
Repetition, repetition, repetition
Play on words -- Using unusual words in different contexts
Opposites - contrast
Comparison
Pushing the boundaries, risk
Use word pictures (trickling down our economy) (twilight struggle)
Use what I call “sparkling” words.
Story telling, and parables
Weaving a (metaphor) theme….. throughout the speech
Tapping into a shared myth
Shock
Irony
A new twist to an old theme
The use of asking questions (and sometimes answering them.)
Evoke the senses
Create a sense of community
Conversational style
Alliteration
Ask Questions instead of statements (and repeat them throughout the speech.)

The Abilene Paradox...

2006-09-07T19:07:00.000-04:00

"That's why we ended up in a mess!"

Here’s a funny form of miscommunication that often happens in organizations, teams, families and even couples! (You have probably experienced it before, but didn’t know what to call it!)It’s called the “Abilene Paradox”
Management guru Jerry B. Harvey observed the paradox in his book "The Abilene Paradox and other Meditations on Management." ISBN 0-7879-0277-2
Here’s the story of why it got that silly name:It’s hot summer afternoon in Coleman Texas. A newly-wed couple and the bride’s parents are playing cards next to the fan and sipping ice-cold lemonade on the porch. The new father-in-law thinks the kids might get bored and suggests an adventure to Abilene for lunch, although he’s totally happy to stay next to the fan. Everybody else (who is also happy to stay home next to the fan) thinks the father wants to go, and they are eager to please him, so they all agree it would be a good idea too, including Mom, who really hates going to Abilene.So they jump into the old station wagon with no air-conditioning and suffer the 53-mile drive to Abilene in the scorching Texas summer heat. They’re soaked and grumpy when they get there, and the food is awful. Mom gets sick. Then they have to pile back in the hot car and take the 53-mile miserable drive back home. Finally, back on the porch, sipping their lemonade, they discover that not a single one of them actually wanted to go to Abilene in the first place, they just agreed because they thought everyone else wanted to go, and it was dad's idea and they didn't want to disappoint him! That’s the Abilene Paradox!When the Abilene Paradox happens, millions of dollars can be wasted in an organization, families can break into arguments, and couples can split up! Everyone is angry!The Abilene Paradox is a paradox in which the limits of a particular situation force a group of people to act in a way that is directly the opposite of their actual preferences. In an Abilene Paradox, people take actions in contradiction to what they really want, therefore they defeat the very purposes of what they try to accomplish.The Abilene Paradox is not a symptom of not being able to manage conflict, but it is a symptom of not being able to manage agreement. In groups, people are afraid to communicate what they really feel or want, and often agree with the CEO or a strong member of the group, in fear of disagreeing. The results can be disastrous.Groups that suffer from the Abilene Paradox display a number of characteristics:
* They agree individually in private about the nature of the situation or the problem facing the organization * They agree individually in private about the steps that need to be taken to cope with the problem* They fail to accurately communicate their desires and beliefs to one another* Failing to communicate, as a group, they make decisions that make them take actions counterproductive for their actual intention* As a result, they become frustrated* The cycle of inability to manage agreement will repeat itself if not dealt with accurately through communication
The Abilene Paradox theory is often used to help explain extremely poor business decisions, especially notions of the superiority of "rule by committee" or “group think”.
Does your organization, board or family suffer from the Abilene Paradox? How can we fix this communication problem? The first thing you can do as a CEO is to encourage and reward staff members to speak up -- courageously and honestly for the welfare of the organization, family or team. If you are a CEO, have you created an environment where your employees fear disagreeing with you? How can you encourage your staff members or employees to communicate courageously and honestly? If you are a staff member or employee, you can take steps to learn how to communicate courageously and honestly.
For both these things to happen, an organization needs to create an atmosphere that encourages rather than discourages opinions and disagreements. Disagreements are healthy for the end result.
But they can be difficult because of a phenomenon called the “The Spiral of Silence” a phemonen observed by communication expert Elizabeth Noelle-Neumann.Noelle-Neumann illustrates the interactive relationship between our own opinion and a perceived public opinion. The spiral of silence process is driven by a fear of isolation, which overrides the worth of our own judgment and triggers us to permanently scan our environment for clues of opinion and go with the flow. This happens even when we feel something is wrong!(Noelle-Neumann, E. (1974). The Spiral of Silence: A Theory of Public Opinion. Journal of Communication, 24 (2), 43-51.)So practice communicating with courage, and reward courage in your organization. When you communicate with courage, you become brave enough to say what you really feel. It’s as simple as that! Be a "Nelson Mandela" or a "Rosa Parks". Now that's progress!

Be An Elegant Communicatorby Lisa Jeffery

2004-09-04T18:58:00.000-04:00

Elegance in Communication in communication is like Dress for Success only it goes deeper than the clothes. Elegant communication involves every part of your being: your actions, your speech, your non-verbal communication, your choice of words, and your character.

Elegant communication involves your mannerisms, your manner of speaking and basically, your manners - to yourself and others - at all times, especially in a crisis. Elegance involves having grace under pressure.Both men and women can be elegant communicators. John F. Kennedy was an elegant communicator, so was Abraham Lincoln, especially in his debates with Douglas -- when as an unknown, he won the nation's heart. Nobel Peace Prize laureate Aung San Suu-Kyi of Burma was one of the most elegant communicators of all times. In a violent pro-democracy protest, she could silence a crowd using only her eyes and immense dignity.

And Nelson Mandela's elegance and grace under extreme pressure and hardship helped change the world in the 20th century.Many of the most elegant communicators of all times were not born with their skills, but worked very hard to acquire them.

Grace Kelly was so ashamed of her harsh Philadelphia accent that she asked her father at 18 for a tape recorder and worked hours listening to her voice and correcting inflections with great discipline. Later, as a successful actress and Princess in Monaco, this discipline and determination made a monumental difference in her communication to the people of the Monaco, Europe, the world and helped her serve as an elegant ambassador of the American culture and people.

The ancient Greek orator Demosthenes, was the classic example of someone who worked very hard to become an elegant communicator. He was born with a serious speech impediment, and people jeered at his stammering in his first public assembly. To learn to speak distinctly, he talked with pebbles in his mouth and recited verses while running uphill. (Not only did it force him to improve his speaking abilities, but also it got him in great physical shape (another aspect of being elegant.) To strengthen his voice, he spoke on the seashore over the roar of the waves. His discipline and determination helped him become one of the greatest orators of Ancient Greece.

You can learn the skills you need to become an elegant communicator. I call them the "Elegant Dozen" -- guidelines you can follow that can change your life.How can you become an elegant communicator?There are 12 crucial ingredients for elegance:

1. Honesty - Practice rigorous honesty in everything you do, all your transactions, all relationships
2. Confidence - Develop confidence, and exude it, without arrogance, help others to be confident.
3. Flexibility Adjust and adapt quickly to unexpected changes. Life is "Plan B" -- be adaptable to changes.
4. Passion Exude passion in everything you do. Feel passion. Do things you are passionate about, and do them often!
5. Practice - Practice hard, for long periods of time until you are tired, and practice often.
6. Praise - Be enormously encouraging to yourself and to others. Give Praise showers.
7. Play - Yes, play. If you want to be elegant, learn how to play. Play creates balance in our lives and allows us to be more creative and productive when we work.
8. Posture -- When you have good posture, your performance improves. Don't let yourself be lazy. Posture yourself as a person with good character and UNRELENTINGLY stay there, matter what the circumstance!
9. Physical fitness Strive to be fit, it gives you confidence and keeps you at your best.
10. Be Interesting - Learn, have a varied life, read, go to workshops, study, have hobbies, have adventures!
11. Be interested Have and show interest in others, ask questions often. Ask questions always!
12. Discipline Be highly disciplined, find ways to bring discipline into your life. Have focus and use discipline to keep your focus. Have Goals, every day, every month, every year!