The Abilene Paradox...

"That's why we ended up in a mess!"

Here’s a funny form of miscommunication that often happens in organizations, teams, families and even couples! (You have probably experienced it before, but didn’t know what to call it!)It’s called the “Abilene Paradox”
Management guru Jerry B. Harvey observed the paradox in his book "The Abilene Paradox and other Meditations on Management." ISBN 0-7879-0277-2
Here’s the story of why it got that silly name:It’s hot summer afternoon in Coleman Texas. A newly-wed couple and the bride’s parents are playing cards next to the fan and sipping ice-cold lemonade on the porch. The new father-in-law thinks the kids might get bored and suggests an adventure to Abilene for lunch, although he’s totally happy to stay next to the fan. Everybody else (who is also happy to stay home next to the fan) thinks the father wants to go, and they are eager to please him, so they all agree it would be a good idea too, including Mom, who really hates going to Abilene.So they jump into the old station wagon with no air-conditioning and suffer the 53-mile drive to Abilene in the scorching Texas summer heat. They’re soaked and grumpy when they get there, and the food is awful. Mom gets sick. Then they have to pile back in the hot car and take the 53-mile miserable drive back home. Finally, back on the porch, sipping their lemonade, they discover that not a single one of them actually wanted to go to Abilene in the first place, they just agreed because they thought everyone else wanted to go, and it was dad's idea and they didn't want to disappoint him! That’s the Abilene Paradox!When the Abilene Paradox happens, millions of dollars can be wasted in an organization, families can break into arguments, and couples can split up! Everyone is angry!The Abilene Paradox is a paradox in which the limits of a particular situation force a group of people to act in a way that is directly the opposite of their actual preferences. In an Abilene Paradox, people take actions in contradiction to what they really want, therefore they defeat the very purposes of what they try to accomplish.The Abilene Paradox is not a symptom of not being able to manage conflict, but it is a symptom of not being able to manage agreement. In groups, people are afraid to communicate what they really feel or want, and often agree with the CEO or a strong member of the group, in fear of disagreeing. The results can be disastrous.Groups that suffer from the Abilene Paradox display a number of characteristics:
* They agree individually in private about the nature of the situation or the problem facing the organization * They agree individually in private about the steps that need to be taken to cope with the problem* They fail to accurately communicate their desires and beliefs to one another* Failing to communicate, as a group, they make decisions that make them take actions counterproductive for their actual intention* As a result, they become frustrated* The cycle of inability to manage agreement will repeat itself if not dealt with accurately through communication
The Abilene Paradox theory is often used to help explain extremely poor business decisions, especially notions of the superiority of "rule by committee" or “group think”.
Does your organization, board or family suffer from the Abilene Paradox? How can we fix this communication problem? The first thing you can do as a CEO is to encourage and reward staff members to speak up -- courageously and honestly for the welfare of the organization, family or team. If you are a CEO, have you created an environment where your employees fear disagreeing with you? How can you encourage your staff members or employees to communicate courageously and honestly? If you are a staff member or employee, you can take steps to learn how to communicate courageously and honestly.
For both these things to happen, an organization needs to create an atmosphere that encourages rather than discourages opinions and disagreements. Disagreements are healthy for the end result.
But they can be difficult because of a phenomenon called the “The Spiral of Silence” a phemonen observed by communication expert Elizabeth Noelle-Neumann.Noelle-Neumann illustrates the interactive relationship between our own opinion and a perceived public opinion. The spiral of silence process is driven by a fear of isolation, which overrides the worth of our own judgment and triggers us to permanently scan our environment for clues of opinion and go with the flow. This happens even when we feel something is wrong!(Noelle-Neumann, E. (1974). The Spiral of Silence: A Theory of Public Opinion. Journal of Communication, 24 (2), 43-51.)So practice communicating with courage, and reward courage in your organization. When you communicate with courage, you become brave enough to say what you really feel. It’s as simple as that! Be a "Nelson Mandela" or a "Rosa Parks". Now that's progress!